I'm Too High! Now What?

All five of your senses are in overdrive, your heart is pounding, the vending machine is talking to you, the arms on the clock are spinning out of control and the weasels are closing in.

For those who like talking to vending machines and petting weasels, the above might be okay. For most however, it would likely feel uncomfortable. Maybe you smoked too much too fast. Maybe you overdid it on your friend’s brownies. Maybe you forgot to “start low and go slow.” It happens. The reason won’t matter in the moment, although you’ll certainly want to remember it in the future.

For now, you just need to fix it. But how?

First, try to stay calm, this too shall pass. Time is your friend. It might take 10 minutes, it might take a few hours, but everything is going to be okay. Take some deep breaths if you can manage it, and don’t panic.

Hydrate. With water, not alcohol. Eat something, preferably with at least a little substance to it, but snacks will work too. Try crunching a few black peppercorns if the cupboards are being friendly to you. A sniff of pepper straight from the shaker will work too.

People might think you’re weird, but the terpenes in black pepper will argue for a date with the same sweet cannabinoid receptors in the brain that the THC wants to marry. Always keep a paper pepper pack in your pocket just in case (say that three times fast, paper pepper pack, paper pepper pack, paper pepper pack).

Try to distract yourself and focus on something that will take your mind off everything else. Maybe a movie, like Cheech and Chong’s Up In Smoke or Alice in Wonderland, just not the Johnny Depp version. Probably not a good idea to watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas either. Cartoons like Bugs Bunny and Mr. Magoo might work. Anything that will focus your attention on something other than you and the people you think are staring at you (they’re actually not).

Take a walk if you can. Just make sure not to go too far, unless you’ve got a trusted friend with you. A warm bath and a nap might do the trick too. Everybody’s different, but there’s a good chance you’ll know what will work, for you. Finally, although this might not be first on some lists, try some CBD oil, which can prevent THC from binding with your pleasure receptors and tone down the craziness.

Once you’re back on earth, think about what happened to cause the situation. You still have to remember to “start low and go slow,” but maybe you can try a lower percentage THC strain the next time, or a higher percentage CBD strain. The latter could provide a more balanced high, while the former might give you that perfectly pleasurable feeling you’ve been looking for all along.

Without the weasels.